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Mornings can be tough. Even for the toughest among us, juggling a morning routine can get crazy. Especially if there are little ones involved, things get hectic.

And the last thing you need then, or really anytime, is that inner voice that says something like “you overslept again, and man you look awful.” Or you fill in the blank, because in my experience that inner voice is almost always the biggest assh*le to you. It really never says anything nice. If it were a real person, you would probably never speak again.

But, it’s not, of course so you have to deal with it? Well yes and no. Read on, and we'll show you a way to deal with the inner critic that we all have inside.

If you are already aware of this inner critic, then congratulations, you are already one step ahead. This inner critic is powered by the forces of self-judgment. It is much better to have self-acceptance which means accepting who we are without any judgment. Self-judgment can sometimes be positive, like when we like what we see when we look in the mirror. But the problem is that the next morning, we may not like what we see—so self-judgment can be capricious and therefore is best avoided.

Self-acceptance is much more balanced and will lead you to a strong sense of self-esteem. And it will be self-esteem that is grounded in the reality of accepting who we are, rather than the kind of hollow self-esteem that some people use to put up a front.

One of the primary core exercises that we teach in the app is how to diminish the impact that negative thoughts have on your emotional well-being by practicing awareness of such thoughts. Check out the app at https://apps.apple.com/us/app/calmascent/id1500610079?ign-mpt=uo%3D4 if you want to learn more about these exercises. You can use the same type of exercise to help you make that inner critic shut up. Keep reading!

The Exercise: How to Get the Inner Critic to Shut Up!

Just like with angry or negative thoughts, the first step is calm awareness that you are having a self-judging thought. “You will never get that job,” “you aren’t smart enough,” “you don’t have what it takes…” are common self-judgmental thought patterns. You need to stop them in their tracks by first saying to yourself “Ok, I am having a self-judgmental thought” when they pop up in your head.

Practice by thinking about a self-judgmental thought that you have had in the past. Once you do, say to yourself , “ok, I am having a self-judgmental thought.” Don’t have an emotional reaction to it or indulge it, just be aware you are having it. That’s the first and the key step.

Like with many things in life, repetition is key. The more you practice that reaction and awareness of the self-judgment, the less sharp it will begin to feel. The screaming inner critic will eventually turn into a squeaky little mouse that you barely hear. Ironically you have to pay attention to the inner critic in order to bring about the change in your mental perspective that will shut him/her up!

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